Secret Haven

-sobs-

2007-06-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

I just saw a picture of the mugs, 3 days after farewell.

I sobbed. Like daaaaaamn. I think i grown attached to the mugs.
(Printed 36, touched a few of them for a few minutes, and now they're ALL with the seniors.)

Ah well, shows how much hard work and the results can mean to the worker.

Somehow the longer the time after farewell, the more i think the mugs look nice. (I thought they looked horrible ahah.)

Mugging time.. No mug. DARN.

Gosh..

2007-06-16T09:54:00.000-07:00

Completely zonked after 1 whole day of farewell activities and everything.

I hope we gave the seniors a day to remember really. Wonderful memories and everything.

Kinda ironic my mugging also begins next week.

Kudos to all the J1s, comm or non comm, for piaing so much with us today ahahahahaha. I still have lynnette's and zhexi's letter to write... Ahh.

Got many cute gifts ahahaha yaaaay.

I'm both happy and sad that today's over. Damned ironies of life.

A quote to call my own..

2007-06-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

"Forget the past and Forge the future." - Yours truly

Just when I thought..

2007-06-13T02:19:00.000-07:00

I've had the last of emo songs, one comes along and kicks me in the guts, leaving me writhing on the ground in this little dead pile, soaking in a puddle of sweet sweet delicious agony.

Collide, by Howie Day.

I need a life. And to Mug. Stupid video.

You spin me round like a record.

I wonder when i became so crazy.

2007-06-02T11:21:00.001-07:00

You're looking for a Best Friend

What Are You Looking for in a Relationship?

Brought to you by Tickle

cantare

2007-05-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

is over.

they're leaving.

i mean, i realized it a long time ago

but i never expected to feel this way.

holidays dont help much.

2007-05-20T04:10:00.000-07:00

i just watched cinderella man.

i teared.

somethings wrong in my life.

Cantare.. Farewells.. and Blocks.

2007-05-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling strangely reflective right now.

I don't know why.

I met all of you half a year ago.
Along with 2 others I did.
Walk into your lives I did, and I am thankful.
But was it the other way round?
For it seems that you've all become part of mine.

It seems, however, that you'll all be gone in mere days,
days that will flash by in an instant,
yet drag on as long as time is compelled to.
The shoes we'll have to fill - Its unlikely to be a perfect fit.
We'll keep them as they are,
but hopefully we'll make them our own.

For now though, we're still together.
Towards the gates we are walking,
but who is leading who?
We'll end up our own separate ways,
but who goes where?

Stupid blocks.

"Jerusalem, If I forget you, let my right hand forget what its supposed to do" - Matisyahu

If I ever forget, I'm not worthy.

zomg.

2007-05-13T05:47:00.000-07:00

CREDO CREDO CREDO CREDO CREDO CREDO CREDO CREDO CREDO CREDO!!!!

GAAAAAAH IMBA SONGGG!!!!

I get teh chillz when i listen to it. I cannae believe we are singing it. I will get teh high.

OOOHH CANTATE DOMINO CANTATE DOMINO CANTATE DOMINO CANTATE DOMINO CANTATE DOMINO CANTATE DOMINO !!!

The imba-ness as well, but we not singing it. But i don't mind, coz quite hard haha.

CREDO WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

ZOMG.

2007-05-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

words are not enough to describe how I am feeling.

Absolutely euphoric doesn't come close.

gold with honours.. thank god.. if not for him we wouldn't even be close..
and thank miss lim.. god's gift to us, and simultaneously a worker of the lord..

I'm feeling quite emo now.. listening over and over to the recording of the announcement..

zomg. such shock and surprise.

I need sleep.

tomorrow got PIP and Math Assignment and I need to catch up on circular motion..

"Choir No. 5..
Hwa Chong Institution..
Gold.
With Honours.
*boom*"
- I still get the butterflies when i listen to the recording..

Swing low..

2007-04-22T07:55:00.001-07:00

here I am listening to Swing Low, Sweet Chariot from a barbershop quartet..

i've got a physics lect test up tomorrow, to be followed by a GP compre assessment, then followed by a math lesson with tutorial which i havent done. And all of a sudden, I'm hit with...

"No point fiddling around with what's not in my control" and "It's all up to God". I wonder if I've gone insane.

Maybe i've done enough and God is telling me to rest.
I'm more than sure enough that i haven't though.
Then the phrase "God helps those who helps themselves" comes to mind. Not in the bible, and not christian apparently. But should i follow it? After all, I need to work for it myself too, god won't do it all for me.

but i think i'm tired.
i'll pray a while.
and pray that i'll make it through tomorrow.
and the day after.
and the 6 days after tomorrow.
and the week after that 6 days.
then the 3 more weeks after that week.
then the month after those 3 weeks.
and the other 11 months after that month.
then the year after.
and all the consequent years of my life.

I pray god is with me. I hope.

Here goes, to the first day of the rest of my life.

"When a man's willing and eager, the god's join in." - Aeschylus, Greek Dramatist and Playwright

"We turn to God when for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them" - Charles C. West

ZOMG.

2007-04-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

SO SICK LOL.

KENA ZAM BY DUNNO WAD VIRUS.

Feeling totally wiped out now. i can't stand walking. I wouldn't even be typing if not for that being the only thing i could do. MY JOINTS HURT lol. And just touching me might kill me. Its like an imba version of pins and needles.

sho shick. apparently one of my meds (looks like pink MnMs, really.), supposed to make me sweat for like.. half an hour or something. Right now, im wearing a thick jacket, no fan and no aircon, and guess wad. IM COLD. GG.

zomg so tired and sore. yesterday still went for PE somemore. I'm pretty sure Mr Lok didn't mean that we would have this sort of aches and pains haha. Monday got MC. Think i'll go for phys test, den go home.

I need the rest. Hah.

Am i hypomanic?

a conversation..

2007-04-15T05:21:00.000-07:00

A: i talk because people like you listen.
B: i listen because people like you don't. (or because people like you don't let us talk)

sadness this is.

i'm pretty damn sure people like that exist. they live in their little fantasy that people listen to them because they talk well or something, when the fact is their listeners have no choice but to listen, since those idiots won't let them talk.

but the idea that person B listens because A doesn't appeals to me more. its like person B paying off a debt that person A incurred. now im definitely sure people like that exist. but i don't know if it's B thats stupid, or A thats an ass. Oh well.

math lect test and assignment tomorrow. heres to GG.

AND GO FOR CANTARE! 16 DOLLAR TICKETS FTW! 27 MAY!

passion?

2007-03-31T03:07:00.000-07:00

today was a day i kinda stoned through.
went for choir workshop at VJ.
stoned all through.
was listening to meridian's choir.
looked up for absolutely no reason,
and i realized the ceiling looked amazing.
the strange thing was before i looked up,
i was falling asleep.
after that, i just woke up.
figuratively i mean.

then we performed.

then bla and bla then VJ.

yeah nothing to say here.
no doubt of a GwH for them at syf.
but when i was listening,
i just realized that i lost a little part of me.
i lost a part of my passion for singing.
i better find that passion soon.
before i lose myself.

"i'd better find my passion before i lose my voice" - Jason

in.a.pit.sooo.stuck.in.this.pit.

2007-03-25T03:32:00.000-07:00

i'm going very quietly insane. i mean i know i'm going insane, but i'm not too sure why.

theres so much to do. yet so little. if i'm like this in C1 i'm not sure how im gonna be in C2.

choir's kinda killing me. stupid things are happening. for one there's idiotic japgame and associated errors, which to me perpetually seems to be pitch. everytime, for the first note, it goes "come in with confidence! don't be blur and come in soft! and for godsakes come in with the right note!" and i'm always thinking "the only reason i don't come in with confidence is BECAUSE i don't GET the bloody note. what the hell". I'm sure i'll get it done in time, but the other problem i have is that i can't hear exactly when we've gone sharp or flat or whatever. i just can't hear that small difference most of the time, and when we hold a note, it sounds awful, but i don't know whether i'm flat or sharp in relation to them, and its irritating, coz i don't know if and HOW to correct it. i have a tendency to go sharp too. and i have poor focus. all things i wish i could fix, and im pretty sure in time i will, but its frustrating.

and the people. gaaah the people. i'm probably splitting hairs and being an ass, but is it REALLY necessary for us to HAVE to be pep talked? we've been pep talked for so long, why another one? why can't we just get the thing in our heads and stop screwing up. i don't know myself. but everytime there's that very affirmative "YES" to the question at the end of each peptalk, going along something like "are we gonna work harder" or something, i just find myself tired. and i just stone. i can distinguish certain voices, which happen to ring more or just are plain louder, and sometimes i wonder.. are they just putting on a false front? its not too hard i guess, just to yell yes and not do anything. all the better if they mean it, but i'm getting cynical. maybe its just empty vessels make the most noise, or maybe its just me. i feel like walking out of the peptalks sometime. or just walking up to those who yell yes and kicking the shit out of them. or maybe its just that i'm angry that they're so empowered by the perpetual peptalks while i'm feeling increasingly nothing for them. maybe i'm just jealous.

ah well. econs and GP essay on monday. tomorrow that is. and i havent done even 20% of my planning. i'm gonna get screwed so badly. i had a thought. it went "chs made me very competitive, but didn't do anything to increase my competitiveness."
kinda sad in that way. i'm sure i want to outperform the others, but i have no idea how to.
mug. i'm disliking some people in my class. the same reason i have for those fellas in choir empowered by peptalks. they have false fronts. damned hypocrites. and im not sure how to deal with them. i just really want to sink my hands into their necks sometimes. in the words of my senior, slightly modified, "they have no respect for others, and don't know when they've hurt others". i would so like to sink my fingers into their necks. strain their tendons and rupture some veins. oh no, i don't want them to die. they don't deserve it. i want them to hurt. ooh yes. no death. i'm very humanitarian. its an easy way out for them to just die and be ignorant. pain tends to wake people up. i hope to wake them up.

in other news, i got a small bit of inspiration from my senior.
i would so like to fall into this scene. i wrote it, so its shockingly horrible, but i like it, so hey, anything goes.
"to sit in a park,
with autumn leaves on the ground.
flowing along like a river of caramel and honey,
whenever the wind kisses your cheek or ruffles your hair,
the way a playful partner would do.
a light rustle from those leaves,
in shades of mandarin they are,
crisp and fresh they are,
almost sounding like raindrops on a hearty summer's day.
to have magpies keep you company,
one snuggled in the palm of your hand,
two playing seesaw with your shoulders,
three having a tea party on the rest of the bench,
and the rest hopping around on the ground, gleefully chirping away.
oh whats this?
a fruity fragrance tickles your nose.
theres a little packet in your hand.
you open it, and you get
20-something strawberries and raspberries steeped in brandy.
i dunno what else to say. i havent tasted berries in brandy before.

i feel very mopy. hmm. need to plan essays. cya.

i really want to swear.

2007-03-17T05:11:00.000-07:00

what sort of a sh!t holiday is this... all of a sudden i'm feeling bloody low today la. baskit.

3 tests when school starts and i keep thinking i haven't done enough for them. and i'm kinda sure i'm correct about that.

what the bloody eff. dont want to get bloody effs for my tests.

i desperately wanting/hoping nay, NEEDING a keyboard or something to make music with. $#_(*%_#@$. i wish i didn't give up on piano back then. damn screwed.

i need a life.

this is the most screwed holiday ever.

priorities...

2007-03-04T09:18:00.000-08:00

I need help...
I'm lost in a world..
a world where there are 2 paths and 2 paths only..
there is no middle ground..
there is no grey area..
there is not even a "thin red line".
its one or the other,
and not pick both and be a rafter.
decisions like this screw me up badly.
i'll lose sleep either way,
when i solve this question,
i'll be faced with another..
not long into either of my paths,
i'm gonna lose some of my companions..
not by my choice,
not by their choice,
but by the choice of some higher power.
all i can hope for,
is that its for the better,
and not for the worse.
for when i lose my companions,
i may lose my footing.
and when i lose my footing,
they can only watch.
and when they only watch,
i will fall.
and when i fall...
i lose my life.
stuck in the middle of 2 choices,
choices so distinct, so different, so differentiated,
that i have nowhere to go.
they pull me equally strongly,
yet i can't be in 2 places at once.
the destination could be the same. it might.
but theres no way i can tell.
the end is death for certain,
but its the journey and not the destination that matters, they say.
oh decisions decisions.
maybe i should just take my life now.
- why can't life just be a videogame?
- i need some sleep.
- i need to rediscover my passions
- i need to focus
- i need ...

the average singaporean cares about 5Cs..
i'm already breaking down over 2Cs.. what life is this..

god help me.

Words of War, or Wisdom?

2007-03-01T05:00:00.000-08:00

We are those who fight.
We fight for the people.
We are those fight.
The people fight with us.

We will not fall on the line battled,
Not as long as our people fight with us.
We will lose nay an inch of ground,
As long as our people will us to.
Call it fate.
Call it destiny.
Call it divine intervention.
Even if the gods willed us fall,
Our feet shall stand firm - We will not fall.
No force,
be it scrounged up from the deepest depths of the oceans,
or rallied down from the highest peaks in this world,
not a hair off their backs will reach this pass that we guard.
They may hail from the fiery bellies of hell,
but they will bring us no fear.
For even the greatest fires of hell will not melt our blades,
nor burn our bodies,
as a fire burns within us
Such is the fire of passion, that few others have managed to light,
and this very fire in every one of us,
is not worth the fires of a thousand hells put together.
Each of us a soldier,
Each of us a warrior,
All of us heroes.
All the others?
Not a problem.

Names..

2007-01-27T19:10:00.000-08:00

I just realized i have quite a lot of names.. some newly named too. So since i have nothing better to do.. Here goes.

LKWai, MMLi, Library King, Macau Man, Kowloon King, Emu, Chicken, Harry Potter, Jason Potter, Zeison, Nosaj and the good old (though very irritating) Honkie.

Talk about bored..

2007-01-16T07:12:00.001-08:00

*picture unavailable*

So very very random.

New term, same failures.

2007-01-10T05:12:00.000-08:00

2007 lol.

Orientation Group: OG18 (ROCK ON YA'LL!)
Class: 07s6G (my little patch of china. lol.)
Subject Combi: PCME (H2) + MTL (H1)

Orientation was fun. When with the right people (aka OG18). Tiring, but fun nonetheless. WARGAMES! lol. Artemis Ares Athena owned Apollo so much, and Athena won. WOOHOO. Lol.
Mass dances, faculty dances, all quite entertaining nonetheless, but things will get boring so fast that you can't say "OG18 ROCKS" without people already falling asleep.

Today choir, had NJC over with us for practice. I feel so n00by la. First there were the J1 auditions that just plain OWNED. Guy and gals with such nice prominent voices. I feel so sad. I feel inferior. Can't even sing properly nowadays. Should I train or just wait to slip back into the singing state.. Hmm. Damn lousy la.. I can't use the techniques and the overused descriptions how you should sound like. I feel like I'm letting all the C2 choristers down la. Damn pissed. I need to find my passion again.

Damn tired. Singing is now in the grey area on my list of "Love or hate?". I should stop singing in church backup too.. Something tells me my life is gonna get very busy.

What a difference a day makes..

2006-12-27T21:31:00.000-08:00

What a difference a day makes,
twenty-four little hours.
Brought the sun and the flowers,
to where there used to be rain.

Yesterday was dark and gloomy,
yet just 24 hours later -
The sun is shining and the birds be chirping.
My gloom is long gone,
ever since you said those magic words.

What a difference a day makes,
the sun is shining on me.
It's raining all around,
yet I'm high and dry.
The sun follows me round,
whilst rainclouds part for me.

I'm light as a feather,
there's a bounce in my step.
I'd have floated off in ecstasy,
if not for our hearts intertwined,
keeping me to you.

Such fun it is to find,
myself in this broth of love.
Stay afloat and I won't go far,
Dive too deep, too fast,
and I'll hit bottom, none the smarter.
But thankfully for me, I've got you.
We'll get through this together,
with a cupful of care,
a dollop of understanding,
and with love added to taste.

We'll keep things going,
this delightful game.
Together as players,
till both our turns run out.

After which I'll see you again,
for a game called..
"A Match Made In Heaven".

But for now,
I'd be glad to settle down in this world,
where the sun may or may not shine,
where rains may or may not fall.

As long as I've got you.

- Adapted and arranged from "What A Difference a Day Made" from (presumably) Renee Olstead, with additions and modifications from yours truly. Again. Heh.

P.S. A very small bit of symbolism present - It's alright if you don't see it.

Swirling around in my little can..

2006-12-21T20:20:00.000-08:00

If I were a sea monkey, and I lived in a tin can of my emotions, I would be either gasping for breath at the bottom, for I've been sucked dry, or I would be tumbling round and round, spinning side to side, for there's a hurricane going on in that tin can.

Is the line between "being friends" and "more-than-friends" thin or fat? Is there a huge grey area between them?

I'm not sure if I want to cross the line. For I know that if i do, i would be breaking one of my own principles. I hope I get over it soon.

Dreams...

2006-11-29T08:55:00.000-08:00

Last night, I had a dream about you,
In my dream, I was dancing right beside you,
And it looked like everyone was having fun,
The kind of feeling I've waited so long for.

Don't stop, come a little closer.
As we dance, the rhythm gets stronger.
Nothing wrong with having a little fun,
We were just dancing all night long.

I hope it's right, to put my arms around you:
If you feel alright, wrap your arms around too.
Then in comes the shining sun,
And this dream was all gone.

*Sigh* I don't know what to do,
About this dream and you.
I pray this dream comes true.

What am I supposed to do,
About this dream and you:
We'll make this dream come true.

Why won't you play the game? (2X)
Why must I play your game?

Back and forth we've tangoed,
Left and right we've twirled,
Flown high and hit bottom together,
What's left to do,
But to come close to one another,
Resting together, down on the ground,
Gazing up into the star studded sky?

A gift from the heavens you are,
With that angelic smile,
And your caramel colored eyes.
Flawed in so many places,
yet perfect in every way:
I thank god for thee.

Tonight, I won't be dreaming about you.
For this time I pray,
This dream would come true,
With everyone just having fun,
And so will end my wait.

We'll be dancing all night,
As the rhythm gets stronger,
We'll just have ourselves some fun.

My arms around you and your's around me,
We'll both pray for this to never end.

Love should last forever.
Unfortunately so, it does not.

- Adapted and arranged from lyrics of "Digital Love" by Daft Punk with additions from yours truly.

Reluctance.

2006-11-09T02:54:00.000-08:00

Dear God,
Your hands work in mysterious ways. I'm still unsure of what your plans are, but I'm pretty sure nobody's gonna stop you. As much as it would make things easier to know whats ahead, I'll wait. Or I'll try to. Or is this one of those.. Opportunity things? Like that rock in the middle of the whitewater rapids right before the waterfall, i.e. If i grab it early, I'll be knocked out cold, if i grab it late I'll just slip away right over the edge, such that I have to grab it right on time? I don't think I'm gonna be grabbing anything though. I'm kinda sure it'll just disintegrate if I do that.

Thanks anyway,
In ye name I pray,
Amen.

I Understand.

2006-11-02T09:36:00.000-08:00

I understand.
No, really.

Just note the following:
When I say I understand, thats all it is to it.
It does not in any way mean "I agree".
You study english right? Exactly.
Hell I probably don't understand in the first place.
Its probably that I'm not even listening.

Why do I do it?
It seems to make people happy.
And thats what I'm all about.
I'm a people person.
(My ass i am.)

There are times when..

2006-09-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

I feel sorry for..
my friends..
my parents..
my teachers..
my classmates..
my enemies..

I disappoint them in the worst ways possible..

To my enemies: I'll put in effort, make it worth your time. No point for you to win everytime.

To my classmates: I'll contribute more, try to fit in. Outcast i am, but hopefully i can fit in a bit.

To my teachers: I'll make it worth your time. I'll work at it. Then maybe, I can thank you properly someday.

To my parents: I'll try to become what you want me to be. I hope I can make you proud, maybe in ways that you would never have expected.

To my friends: I should be more caring. I will try to be what a friend should be, someone who will be ready to help when needed, by whatever means necessary. If you are shot at, I will do my best to deflect that bullet - even if it means to stand in its path. If you lie bleeding, I will get you blood - even if it means killing someone else. If you threaten suicide, I won't bother negotiating - I will push you off myself, or stand at the bottom waiting. If you die... See you soon. If you ever feel betrayed by me... Say so. Or else I won't ever know.

I don't make promises often, but I pray that those i make, I keep.

And I pray i remain true to...

Too tired.

2006-08-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

I'm too tired. I need some peace. I need some sleep. I'm getting dragged over the sand of the shore with my lips cracked, skin chapped, and my eyes dry. I'm dehydrated, my mouth drier than sand, my legs unresponsive, as i watch them leave trails on the ground, flopping around like fish out of water. I'm having hallucinations, being dragged through the hallways of my life, from the falls i've had to the Everests that i've conquered. I think of letting go, but my subconcious won't let me. Something holds on to me, even when i let go, continuing to pull me on.

Suddenly it starts to rain, first descending as nothing more noticeable than a mist, to a slight sprinkling of water, the way one does with salt, and ends with pea sized droplets of water pelting down from above. The raindrops awaken me from my semiconsciousness, and i strain to open my eyes. As much as it stings, the my eyes immerse themselves in this new found moisture as i blink slowly but steadily. A sensation soon arises from my mouth, leading me to realise that my mouth is wide open, and i rush to swallow the water that enters.

I sense newfound hope. I'm still alive.

God dammit.

2006-07-22T02:20:00.000-07:00

Damn power to my laptop screwed up again.

Now I can't remember my words.
I guess no one will never know.
I do remember this though.
"I thought she was gone, but I was wrong.
All this while, -censored-
-censored-
I just watched my fourth finger on my right hand twitch.
Just twitch. I didn't even feel myself do it.
I'm losing myself.
Faster than anyone can ever imagine.
Its only a matter of time before I push myself over the edge.
I'm not even looking at the keyboard here.
My head is tilted facing the screen,
yet the words continue coming out whole. One after the other.
What's going on i ask. What is it?
I don't know. It hurts.
I feel like just rampaging through my room, but i can't. I know thats the easy way out.
And I've vowed to take the right way instead of the easy way.

Edit: Crap. I realize this was supposed to go ilst, and not this one. But i'm too lazy to copy and paste and do all that jazz, so i'm just gonna leave it here. Its not like anyone reads it anyway.

Friday Night Lights

2006-07-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

"Fifty Thousand People in the Astrodome,
but all the seats are empty.
All are on their feet."
Friday Night Lights, Game Commentator

All skin tingles with the electricity of the moment, whilst the coldness of steel runs down everyone's spine.
Innocently the ball gazes past the faces around into the starless night.
Oh those faces dripping with sweat, smeared with blood, blood ready to flow through the veins of the winner, or to splatter as the blood of defeat.
Whatever it shall be, there everything is to be lost, as there is everything to win.
Out goes the battle cry, and in moments the arena is filled with the cries, the guttural grunts, and the smell of death engulfs all.
One can hear the sounds of hearts pumping... The sound of blood blowing through the narrow passageways of the players they belong to...
And the players themselves, like their own hearts, pulse with the raw, burning, searing, barely contained rage and fury. Or is it just.. Passion?
One may find out, but it will not be now.
The race is on.
Like the crest of a wave, the players surge over their enemies, engulfing them, slowly beating them into submission.
The very same way cliffs are beaten down into bare pillars of rock, then into sand.
Nothing it seems, will ever stop their advance.
Yet, they falter.
Like the sea, a sudden calm is never a sign of things good to come.
Surging out of the turf, the final push has come.
Inch by inch, they surge through their oppostion.
As their opponents stumble, so do they.
Their assault weakens, as do their opponents.
Alas, even as they gain ground, they lose momentum.
The opposition may have lost many, but 10 will take the place of every one that falls.
It seems that the end is in sight.
A mere inch it is, compared to the distance they have travelled.
But all are human.
And all thus possess human weaknesses.
The sleepless nights, the labored hours. All catch up to them. Exhaustion shows.
Momentum lost, they stop. And retreat.

VICTORIOUS, the opposition cheers. Dancers in the street, cheers in the air.
But what of our players? I ask.
Those who fought this far?
Shall they never taste the sweetness of victory?
Feel the blood flowing through their veins?
Be raised high on shoulders as Heroes, and no longer Pariahs?
It would seem that way.
All that stood between them and their destination,
was but just a feet of air.
And there our heroes shall lie,
While their hearts beat out their final rhythms.
A sign to all who may come after them.

May their hearts and souls rest in peace,
and their bodies crumble to dust in the wind.
With this blessing I pray,
and your guidance on their shoulders,
May the wind take them places,
May they do great things.
Amen.

PITA.

2006-07-03T06:52:00.000-07:00

I'm taking..

Diosper tabs (Diosmin and Hesperdin) and Proctosedyl (Hydrocortisone, Dibucaine Hydrochloride, Neomycin B Sulfate & Esculoside). Its that bad. I dont feel like mentioning wad it is, but its a real pain in the ass. (PITA.). Damn.

I dont think the dibucaine hydrochloride is working too well though.
GAAAAAAH.

I'm in..

2006-06-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

OH YEAH I'M IN LOVE!!
IN LOVE WITH NOT BEING IN LOVE!
I think i'm finally moving onto acceptance, then to renewal. Or is it renewal already?

Conclusion:Freedom screws up my life.
Something or someone must always control me, dominate me, restrict me, choke me, pressurize me, sit on me, make my life miserable and absolutely repulsive so that I may persevere and make the most out of it.

自强不息！
TO RESILIENCE!
TO THE OPPRESSED INDIVIDUAL!
TO THE CONFINED FAMILY!
TO THE RESTRICTIVE TIES THAT BOND!
TO THE COMPARTMENTALIZED WORKSPACE!
TO THE UTTER INVASION OF PRIVACY!
TO THE LOVELY DEFILEMENT OF FREEDOM OF CHOICE!
TO THE DEGRADATION OF SOCIETY!
TO THE DEATH OF ORGANIZED POLITICS!
TO THE REVIVAL OF DICTATORSHIP, THE RAMPAGE OF ANARCHY AND THE MANIFESTATION OF THE PRIMAL NATURE OF HUMANITY!

[TO THE NEW WORLD!]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2006-06-23T05:31:00.000-07:00

Sigh.. School returns in 2 days.. I wish work would be interesting to do. So i wouldn't be pushed into my present situation..

I've got ACE to do.. Corrections.. Basically all the work before the holidays and crap.
This really is getting on my nerves.

Anger, Denial, Distress and Depression, Acceptance, Renewal

2006-06-13T09:46:00.000-07:00

Gaah. Stuck in endless loop over the centre 3 stages. Heck.

This week in particular has suddenly become oh so busy in my june holiday. I mean, it was jolly good for the first 3 days, getting to play golf and bowl with my friends, but now suddenly choir, library, cca and all my other commitments pile into me. Its worse than getting hit by a sledgehammer. Its like getting hit by a wrecking ball. Full body impact thats what it is.

Wednesday
0800 - 1300 Library
1300 - 1500 Choir

Thursday
0930 - X Tuition
X - 1630 Choir

Friday
0900 - 1500 Suntec CIP

I hate my life. And yes, i hate you. Yet i dont want to.